Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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