Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
