I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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