he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
