dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
