omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
