I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We had to coat check the pizza.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
