dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
