I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
This house was built for laser tag.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Randomize
