she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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