well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
