I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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