I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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