also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
