Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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