am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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