brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
