I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
