Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
