it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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