careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
