dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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