I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
