I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
