haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Green mimosas i think yes
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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