My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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