new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
