haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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