Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
