so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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