it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
