Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
