They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Let's get the cat blown out
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
