very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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