I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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