I'm eating all of the evidence.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
