I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
