you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We don't watch enough power rangers
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I love you.
Bad choice
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
