i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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