dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
