you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
