Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
