Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
