i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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