drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
