I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I am one with the molecules
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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