we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Randomize
