This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
we're so committed to being not committed
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
