He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
