is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
