Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
