This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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