dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
